dear charlie d.,
i think you might be amused by this metaphor-filled text message conversation i had. this is someone i've seen amongst friends off and on for a year or two. i believe i showed you this person on facebook and you said "too skinny." forget about all that.
shortly after i was single, i saw him for the first time in several months. we had (still have?) some half-baked plan to start a writing group, which we have been talking about forever.
one night shortly after that, he invited me out to meet him and a friend of his who were grabbing a drink. it sounded like he wasn't going to stay out much longer, and i was about 15 blocks away, so i told him such. he responded that he would owe me a foot rub for my troubles.
shortly after i arrived, writer guy's friend left the bar and it was just the two of us. we realized we were both very hungry, and ended up at a diner where i had the most disgusting pasta of my ENTIRE LIFE (no joke. it was like miso soup with penne and a sheet of mozzarella)
after we parted ways...
Him- Nice to see you in a different context last night :)
Me- Yeah, that was fun!
Then he realized...
Him- I owe you a footrub or equivalent!
i, being too busy for a response, waited 3 days (and 3 beers) to respond.
Me- So, what is the "equivalent" of a footrub?
Him- That is a very, very good question :)
Me- And?
Him- Certainly includes shoulders at least
Me- Oh, so massages can't be exchanged for non massage items at the [writer guy] store?
Him- You're trying to get out of a massage?? Haha...we can talk exchange. We at the [writer guy] store stand by our many excellent products!
Me- Not so fast, I am definitely interested in the massage! Just curious to know more about the other products...
Me- Maybe I can just browse the store
Him- Haha.. we can arrange a private viewing this weekend perhaps ;)
Me- Ooh, I did hear somewhere that the [writer guy] store is by appointment only.
Me- When will the owner be available?
Him- Friday is looking promising to open the shop
Him- If you can wait that long
Me- Ha
Me- Most of my shopping is impulse purchases
Him- We cater to your personal shopping style. Are you requesting rush delivery?
sadly I could not follow through... stupid work. but he is definitely interested. though then had to go to south america to do some kind of charity work.
hope this amused you!
<3 love <3
i love it! adorably elaborate sexual metaphors are the best.
ReplyDeletethis is only slightly related, but teasing: i've never understood teasing that doesn't go anywhere. i mean, to me, teasing is a way of filling with a sort of aching, pleasing tension the moment before the act. but to not act on it in the end? seems unethical, sort of like lying. and where's the pleasure? in the power? ok, but why make sex hurtful? it can still be (and always will be) about power, but isn't it more compassionate when we are playing out power instead of abusing it? can sex be a space where power (and inequality) exist to be inverted, bent, pushed, and played? i think that's what i've been trying to explore (more or less intentionally, of course) since i started having sex.
anyway, you should go shopping at his store. it's less cute when i say it.