loneliness

fighting, tonight, the paradox of feeling lonely when there are so many possibilities for human contact: the chef, the occupy activist, a dj, and a painter all asked me out. i want to spend time with someone, but i think i'll go hunting on my own. . . find someone in a cafe, in a bar somewhere in this new hometown of mine. . . take it from there. . . something about leaving it to serendipity, about leaving open the possibility that i'll meet no one and spend a solitary evening, makes it seem the more difficult thing to do.